I was sitting at my computer, an early Compac portable thinking about who to write to after the Supreme Court dismissed my appeal, when she came up the stairs, put a hand on my shoulder, and softly said “You’ve done enough, time to move on.”

I was not ready to give up... I was not ready to move on even if two and half years without a paycheck had taken its toll — all our savings were gone and we were deeply in dept.

“Ross said he has talked to a consultant he knows from Montréal who is looking for someone to manage some of his people here in Ottawa.”

I ignored her, not something I usually did.

“Don’t you understand we are broke,” she said “we have no more money, the bank won’t lend us anymore; you have to get a job.”

I still ignored her. I am sorry about that.

“Won’t you at least meet with the person who is willing to give you a job,” she pleaded.

I had not looked for a job thinking it was pointless! Who would hire someone who had been fired from the Public Service with The Appraisal From Hell as a reference.

Someone was actually willing to overlook all that. If I was not at least willing to talk to such a person, I risked losing more than mere possessions.

I only referred to her twice, and not by name, in my whistleblower’s tale for fear that the government would do to her what they did to me.

Her security clearance was somewhat more impressive than mine. If the RCMP, as the diplomats wanted them to, had declared me to be a security risk, as my spouse, she would have lost her security clearance and her job along with it.

I met my future partner in life* at Communications Canada. She was a professional translator on temporary assignment at the agency.

About a year after we first met she joined the elite of government translators/interpreters; the fifty or so professionals who provide translations services and simultaneous interpretation to the House of Commons, the Senate of Canada, Parliamentary and Cabinet Committees and Party Caucuses.

It was not her Master in Linguistics, and later her Master in Business Administration that made for the most interesting dinner conversations, but her interest and knowledge of the Classics (literary works of ancient Greece and Rome) and Renaissance literature, art and history. It was a good thing that we had a wide variety of things to talk about (e.g. A Friendly Disagreement Between Husband and Wife) because, many an evening there was no point asking her about her day, she would not tell, not even a hint.

She had taken an oath to respect the confidence of the people she worked for and that was that.

As part of her job she often found herself in the same room as government Ministers and sometimes the Prime Minister.

The hardest thing for her during my confinement with an impossible task to perform and a promised loss of employment no matter what I did, was stopping herself from walking up to a powerful Minister, or even the Prime Minister, and pleading with them to help me.

She had promised me she would never do that. She did of course confront (it's in The Betrayal of Joe Clark) an aide to Joe Clark in Montréal, and she did, when asked, recommend David Kilgour as a Member of Parliament whom, in her opinion, Foreign Affairs could not bribe or otherwise influence, but that was the extent of her involvement outside the home.

I did not want her to plead my case with any of the powerful people with whom she often rubbed shoulders, not only because if she inconvenienced the wrong Minister she was out of a job, but this was my fight and it would be won or loss on its merit. My concern for her job was also why I did not want to see her at my hearing before Thomas W. Brown, or at my appearance before the Federal Court of Appeal and later the Supreme Court of Canada.

My opponents had revealed themselves to be people without honour. Her presence could only inspire further acts of reprisal with her as the means, if not the target. I would not take the risk, even if her counsel at my hearing before the Federal Court of Appeal when Judge Marceau stated the obvious would have been invaluable.

I may be able to tell you more about this exceptional woman in the near future.

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* We had been seeing each other for almost seven years when she decided it was time.

We were playing backgammon at my place. I think I was winning when she said “If I win this game, you have to marry me.”

She likes to talk about how she won me in a game of backgammon. I like to think I let her win because I would have been a fool not to. That was thirthy years ago.

Bernard Payeur

Jan 26, 2011. Upd. Sep 7, 2011